Satire

India is a land of entrepreneurs. The country has produced some of the most brilliant minds who are either ruling or have started some of the biggest companies in the world.

According to Google, Indian entrepreneurs today are successful and have gone global. They are not only helping themselves but also are creating jobs in the market at an unprecedented rate. This is helping the Indian economy to larger extend.

Why entrepreneurship should be limited to fields such as technology, business, social service ? We have a new breed of entrepreneurs emerging in digital space. Platforms such as Youtube and TikTok are growing rapidly.

This has led to lot of individualities coming up from all walks of life. From villages to biggest celebrities, everyone is creating digital content and there is a huge market of nearly 2 billion people that live in Indian subcontinent.

Here I present some of the ways that may help you become a DIGITAL SENSATION very fast !

1. Abuse people

Wear a persona. Start abusing everyone. If you don’t have 2–3 catchy and creative abuses on your name, you would not be considered entertaining enough.

Abuses related to females and female body parts are what we all have grown up with !

These are considered the ultimate source of entertainment and guilty pleasure. Hence take some suggestions from Hindustani Bhau on how to create better gaalis.

If you are a girl and giving these gaalis, it is even better ! Society don’t expect girls to be ‘bold’. So if girls give gaalis, you are bound to give a lot more views.

Remember the formula:

Gaalis=Entertainment=You are cool=Views & Likes

I was planning to put some viral videos here with abuses as an example. There are plenty on Internet with million views but then I thought, why should I promote abusing people ?

2. Homophobia Sells

What is the easiest way to grab eyeballs ? A guy dressed up as a girl. Such videos goes viral immediately.

People love to make fun of such personalities and share the videos. We as a society are fond of casual Homophobia.

Youtuber Carryminati made millions of subscribers out of casual Homophobia and his video was later deleted by Youtube. The video was one of the most liked video on Youtube before it was deleted.

The video was reported by several users because it was aimed to attack other content creators using homophobic slurs such as Meetha (meaning ‘sweet’ but used as an insult, citing lack of ‘masculinity’) and Pari (meaning ‘Fairy’, used to misgender). Further, Ajey says that TikTok creators can be sold at a Meethai ki Dukaan (sweet shop) for ₹200, referring to the homophobic slur Meetha. Throughout the video, he resorts to the common homophobic practice of misgendering by addressing the creator as Beti (daughter). At one point, Ajey threatens him with a sexual crime saying, andar se khol ke bajaa denge (I will rip you open and f*ck you).

3. Misogyny sells even better

If you see a lot of popular tik tok videos, many are about slapping women, raping them, throwing acid at them and they are portrayed in such a cool and funny manner that they get bonanza number of likes. Recently such video was noticed by National Women Commission and action was taken against the Tik Tok star. But its not just about one video, there are 1000s of such videos floating on internet in the name of ‘entertainment’.

Any kind of violence and abuse is passed as a form of ‘love’. Now you know what kind of ‘love’ Kabir Singh’s director was talking about when he made his infamous statement.

4. Do the most cringe worthy things

Learn to dress madly.

Learn to sing badly.

Learn to dance terribly.

This will make you famous .

Remember Dhinchak Pooja ? Though I feel this one is lesser harmful to the society than above three points. Feeling proud of you Dhinchak 🙂

“Dilo ka shooter hai mera scooter, dilo ka shooter ..ahh .ahh”https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fembed%2FYLF4sKkUzSQ%3Ffeature%3Doembed&display_name=YouTube&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DYLF4sKkUzSQ&image=https%3A%2F%2Fi.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2FYLF4sKkUzSQ%2Fhqdefault.jpg&key=a19fcc184b9711e1b4764040d3dc5c07&type=text%2Fhtml&schema=youtube

5. Body shame people

You are fat ?
Great !
You are views machine !

You are dark ?
Great !
You are views machine !

Are you short?
Great !
You are views machine !

If you are anything other than ‘perfect’ and does not comply with the standards of ‘normalcy’ set by the world .. YOU ARE A VIEWS MACHINE ! We have risen from body shaming people in bollywood and now we have started doing that on digital platform.

6. Do nothing

Hello friends Chai peelo and do nothing.
This can make you a sensation overnight.https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fembed%2F-mTEivtrPSo%3Ffeature%3Doembed&display_name=YouTube&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D-mTEivtrPSo&image=https%3A%2F%2Fi.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2F-mTEivtrPSo%2Fhqdefault.jpg&key=a19fcc184b9711e1b4764040d3dc5c07&type=text%2Fhtml&schema=youtube

Will all these things help ?

Definitely, such tactics will give you millions of followers on social media that leads to lot of brand deals, you earn a lot. At the end you are called onto reality show and you become superstars.

Follow these steps and you are bound to become the next internet sensation ! And please do come here later to thank me ! 🙂