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It was a lazy Saturday evening. I and my two friends cum roommates Aritra and Priyank had just finished the last season of Netflix’s popular show ‘Dark’. Although none of us understood most of the show, we pretended to have loved it! Ahh..it was essential to ‘love’ the damm show about time travel and blah blah …to look cool in our social circle. There was no other choice.

Our brains were in some other tangent now, and none of us was in a position to cook any dinner. Hence, we decided to order our favourite Chicken Tandoori Cheese Burst Pizza from Dominos. Well, it was COVID time, but we thought that we would eat pizza after reheating it. Well, that would probably kill the virus. Hopefully!

After some time, the big dominos box arrived. We made sure to sanitize the box with 1 litre of sanitizer. We opened some coke bottles and grabbed the slices and started savouring it — a perfect Saturday dinner. We nearly consumed the pizza, only the last slice was left. There were three people and just one slice! How will we divide it? Everyone brought out their gentlemen side: “Please eat. I am full!”. But inside, everyone was craving to grab that last slice of cheese burst chicken pizza. In the end, nobody ate that slice, and it was taken to the fridge.

It was midnight, and I saw everyone was sleeping. I opened the refrigerator and just stared at the pizza box till the refrigerator started ringing “Beep…Beep”, reminding me to close it.

It was the next morning. There was an unusual silence in the house. Everyone was looking towards the closed door of the fridge and not pretending to be looking at it. It was afternoon, and still, we had no-decision on who will get the pizza slice.

Finally, we decided to call a meeting to finalize who will get the last slice of pizza. It was an urgent issue. I sent a google invite to both of my roommates. I kept the time at 5 pm and location as the dining table. It was time to discuss the most burning issue of our lives. Who will get the last slice of pizza? We three sat together and started putting out our arguments.

Priyank said “See we all are engineers hence I believe we should be efficient with this. We should measure the radius of the pizza slice. We should also determine the angle of the sector of the slice and then calculate the sector area of the slice.”

He shared a pictorial description of the strategy as well that he had prepared in as prep work for the meeting.

“After we have the area of the sector we can then multiply it with the height of the slice. Thus, we will get the volume of the slice of pizza, and we would be able to divide it equally.”

Aritra objected “We don’t have a geometry box at home to do the calculations and it would be stupid to go and buy one just for a slice of pizza. Had it been a case of a Chocolate Brownie, it would have been still alright to buy geometry box!”

He continued why he deserves the full slice “Do you guys remember the Diwali of 2014? Our neighbour gave us three samosas, three barfis, six cheeseballs and some sweet chutney. Everything was equally divided except the sweet chutney. I did not get any chutney! That is the reason why I deserve the complete slice of chicken pizza.”

Ohh, Mann! It was such a valid argument. We didn’t give him the chutney in 2014. He deserved the last slice of pizza in 2020.

What should I do now?
Have I lost the battle?
Will I never be able to to put that slice in my mouth?
Are my dreams over?

I decided to use my trump card.

I stood up, cleared my throat and said “See..both of your arguments are okay. But the pizza that we ordered is a Chicken Pizza. I can easily call both of your mothers and tell that your son eats chicken! Non-Veg! Sin! Curse! Your lives will be destroyed in seconds forever. You will not be allowed to enter your house. Your Brahmin community will curse you for being an outlaw. No one will give their daughter to you for marriage.”

Both of them were taken aback. It felt like an Ekta Kapoor serial level shock had struck them. I played dramatic music on my phone for effect. They had no idea that I can blackmail them in such away. What will they do now? They didn’t want their families and Brahmin community to disown them. Hence, they decided that they will let go of the pizza slice.

My eyes widened with joy. Finally! I had won some argument in life. I jumped on the dining table, played Sheila Ki Jawaani and did my victory dance for 2 min. Aritra and Priyank looked at me with rage, frustration and distress.

I got down the table and rushed to the fridge to grab the pizza box. I opened the refrigerator, and the box was nowhere! Where had it gone? Did someone eat pizza slice? Suddenly from behind our house cleaning lady, Champa Didi appeared. She said “What happened? There was some stale food in the fridge. I gave it to the dog. Was it important?”

My eyes turned red. I tightened my fist out of anguish. I could hear the sound of Priyank and Aritra smirking and grinning from behind.

After that day nobody has ever seen Champa Didi and the dog that ate the last slice. They disappeared suddenly. Well…err…umm…I think something might have happened to them because of some sin they perpetrated on someone. God rest the soul of Champa Didi and the dog.